I remember when I was first talking to my now husband, who I had met on Tinder, before we even met up I asked what he was looking for. It felt like a big deal to me, as I would always get freaked out when other people would ask me that same question, I'd panic, and ghost. It felt so good to actually speak up and take charge of the hard questions myself :)
When I was first dating my current partner, I got asked how we could be more like a romance novel, to which I said I was not interested in that since it would probably involve lots of miscommunication and a third act break up
This was an interesting read and I’d like to provide an alternative perspective. I read a lot of romance books, and the good ones tend to share the same message: to be known is to be loved.
This is usually achieved by the love interest remembering a small detail about the main character, or noticing when something is wrong, or finding any excuse to be near them. I wouldn’t say romance books should be used as a guide to dating, but more like an exaggerated example of what someone who truly sees you will do for you.
Where the messaging gets muddled is if there’s no understanding between the main characters. If I can’t see these two people appreciating each other beyond attraction, banter, or circumstance, the romance doesn’t work for me. This is typically when I will rate romance books 3 stars or lower.
But the underlying message, to me, is that someone who cares about you will take the time to learn and understand you. For some people, myself included, the most romantic sentence isn’t “I love you,” it’s “I remember.”
I remember when I was first talking to my now husband, who I had met on Tinder, before we even met up I asked what he was looking for. It felt like a big deal to me, as I would always get freaked out when other people would ask me that same question, I'd panic, and ghost. It felt so good to actually speak up and take charge of the hard questions myself :)
i love that! being honest about what you’re looking for from the jump is so important
I loved this!
thank you for reading! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
=kind regards= after a date ... absolutely not 😭
When I was first dating my current partner, I got asked how we could be more like a romance novel, to which I said I was not interested in that since it would probably involve lots of miscommunication and a third act break up
This was an interesting read and I’d like to provide an alternative perspective. I read a lot of romance books, and the good ones tend to share the same message: to be known is to be loved.
This is usually achieved by the love interest remembering a small detail about the main character, or noticing when something is wrong, or finding any excuse to be near them. I wouldn’t say romance books should be used as a guide to dating, but more like an exaggerated example of what someone who truly sees you will do for you.
Where the messaging gets muddled is if there’s no understanding between the main characters. If I can’t see these two people appreciating each other beyond attraction, banter, or circumstance, the romance doesn’t work for me. This is typically when I will rate romance books 3 stars or lower.
But the underlying message, to me, is that someone who cares about you will take the time to learn and understand you. For some people, myself included, the most romantic sentence isn’t “I love you,” it’s “I remember.”